Today is the sort of day that makes me realize that I should've paid more attention to high school politics. I feel naive and unsure of my footing in relational terrain that most normal people regard with world-weary yawns (having discovered years ago that those mountains really are molehills). And if the veterans continue to tell me that, it must be true. But I don't see that clearly enough yet to react to those molehills in any other manner than the alarm I feel.
That does not prevent me from feeling silly about how I've handled things. I wish I had the detachment to care less...but pity has a way of muddying my perspective and compromising my poise.
All in all, I definitely feel my immaturity more keenly than I have in awhile. It's unsettling to realize that the woman I thought I was chatting with in my brain is still in the most awkward stage of her social adolescence.
That does not prevent me from feeling silly about how I've handled things. I wish I had the detachment to care less...but pity has a way of muddying my perspective and compromising my poise.
All in all, I definitely feel my immaturity more keenly than I have in awhile. It's unsettling to realize that the woman I thought I was chatting with in my brain is still in the most awkward stage of her social adolescence.
Funny that I managed to decieve myself about her for so long.
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