cheers to living ontologically!

Today hailed another convocation of studies at Covenant College: bagpipes and ceremonial cowls, tassels and berets, whistling, applause, creationfallredemptionconsumation...the whole deal. I pondered anatomy, Shakespeare, the twentieth century, and the meaning of "redeeming the time." It is Felty's birthday, as well...we shared coffee and toasted to her new decade in our bathtowels.
In the midst of the festivities, I am doing my best to live ontologically. To BE: recognizing that each moment in time encompasses both the past and the future (thank you T.S. Eliot), and that I must not allow my self image (warped and murky as a funhouse mirror by starlight) to get in the way of my self (that elusive spirit that vanishes the moment I focus on it, that is most real when it is least aware of itself). Confusified yet? Because I sure am. (Thank you, Madeleine L'Engle.)
What I am attempting, day by day, is to live a life of humble integrity. That is living ontologically. And God knows (and has said) it is impossible. But the closer I approach it, the nearer I will approach wholeness.

happiness

O Lord,

Help me never to expect any happiness

from the world, but only in thee.

Let me not think that I shall be more happy by living to myself,

for I can only be happy if employed for thee,

and if I desire to live in this world

only to do and suffer what thou dost allot me.

Teach me

that if I do not live a life that satisfies thee,

I shall not live a life that will satisfy myself.

Help me to desire the spirit and temper of angels

who willingly come down to this lower world

to perform thy will,

though their desires are heavenly,

and not set in the least upon earthly things;

then I shall be of that temper I ought to have.

Help me not to think of living to thee

in my own strenght,

but always to look to and rely on thee

for assistance.

Teach me that there is no greater truth than this,

that I can do nothing of myself.

Lord, this is the life that no unconverted man

can live,

yet it is an end that every godly soul

presses after;

Let it be then my concern to devote myself

and all to thee.

Make me more fruitful and more spiritual,

for barrenness is my daily affliction and load.

How precious is time, and how painful to see it fly

with little done to good purpose!
I need thy help:

O may my soul sensibly depend upon thee

for all sanctification,

and every accomplishment of thy purposes

for me, for the world,

and for thy kingdom.

-Valley of Vision