Sunday, July 04, 2010

halfbaked

I've been frustrated of late by my inability to form strong, sound opinions. All of the notions that inhabit my brain are half-baked--mushy and sunken in the center. They don't spring back after you touch them. They stick gooily to the fork that pricks them.

I've decided to be more thoughtful about the way I feel about things, the reasons I feel the way I do about things. I want to be able to support the things I say. If I can't even explain myself to myself, how can I expect others to take me seriously?

Time is the catalyst that I've been sidestepping. I have arrived by shortcuts and conjecture to the majority of my views, and need to go back and spend time baking them through and through. No easy task. But a vital one.

I want to take my life very seriously, and you can't do that by cutting corners.

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To Mom

Who would have thought, when years had passed,  and you had left this world for good, I'd find such comfort remembering the way it felt ...