When I think of TJ, it is her voice that I remember most vividly. Her voice entirely suited her. Even now, a year since I’ve heard it, I can summon the modulation of it, how it was a perfect embodiment of her Southern birthright and ladylike self-assurance with its elongated vowels and ringing clarity. The way she’d lay a stress on certain words, like pointing a finger: “Dear”; “If you know what I mean…”
And of course I remember her face. Like her voice, like her personality, her
face was a delightful balance of softness and precision: her bright eyes and sharp
chin strikingly set against her smooth skin and soft hair. She always carried herself with such dignity,
chin lifted and shoulders straight, like a queen.
In both health and sickness, TJ was frankly herself. While confined to her walker, she taught me to make sweet tea. She prayed that
I would get a job even while she was in the midst of confronting her own
suffering. She and Mike always welcomed
me into their home, and gave me the precious privilege of sharing in their season
of pain and grief. In so doing, they
taught me more about faith than my upbringing in a Christian community
managed to do. When I was diagnosed with
cancer later that year, it was TJ’s face that came first to my mind, and the
memory of her resounding conviction in the face of death gave me deep
consolation. TJ taught me how to grieve
with grace, how to suffer with steadfastness.
She taught me so beautifully about the Body of Christ, how worthy and
vital and good it is to be a member of Christ, to share in the fellowship of
His suffering.
TJ was wonderful. I
only knew her for a brief span of time, and look how indelibly her presence has
been carved in my memory! By living out
her faith, TJ revealed to me the incalculable treasure we both have been given
by the grace of God. She shouted to me,
through her graceful submission to His will, that to live is Christ, and to die
is gain.
I miss TJ, but I rejoice that she is perfectly happy and
whole. Her affliction prepared her for
the eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison that she now
experiences. And her example continues
to instruct me as I stumble towards heaven myself, carrying the glorious
treasure of the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the humble
earthen vessel of my mortal body. Like
TJ, like the Apostle Paul, “I believe and therefore I speak, knowing that He
who raised the Lord Jesus will also raise me with Jesus and bring me into His
presence…that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase
thanksgiving to the glory of God.”
And I’m sure her encouragement to us today as we miss her
precious presence on earth would echo Paul’s words in 2 Corinthians 4: “So we
do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is
being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for
us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the
things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are
seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.”
I pray that my life, like TJ’s, will be a rich affirmation
of God’s goodness and grace.
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